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Aug 23

Eight and a half months into this year that seems to be flying by at the speed of sound. At the beginning of each new year, I create a list of goals or "resolutions" if you will that I hope to achieve. I try to be as realistic as possible with these goals, and typically I do fairly well with accomplishing them. This year, I started off strong, as you would imagine. I got up early every morning and spent my regular time in God's word and studying my devotion. I also added to my list of "spiritual goals" that I would set aside at least one afternoon a week in private worship time with God; this was in addition to my worship time spent at church, and individual prayer time each day. I would simply come home one afternoon a week, sometimes turn on some worship music or sometimes just enjoy the silence, and simply raise my hands and being to worship Him. This new special time I was having with The Lord stirred something inside me. It made me fall even more in love with Him, and I feel my intimacy with God grow stronger each day.

In March of this year, I began my annual 21 day Daniel's Fast. This is something I look forward to every year. While it has its' ups and downs and some days I may dread it, I always love how refreshed I feel in my spirit when it is over. This year, however was quite different. The very first week of my fast, the spiritual attacks began. I woke up every morning so down trodden, for no reason whatsoever. My spirit was completely broken, I was discouraged everyday. My commutes to work became more and more difficult, as I would begin every day in tears. I had never experience anything like this before. The best way I know to describe it is, it felt as if I was nursing the worst broken heart I had ever had. By day 21, I was spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. I was so relieved when the fast came to an end, and to be honest, I kinda gave up a little bit. I said to myself, "Thank God this is over. I have fought my fight, and now I am done". How naïve of me to think that just because my time of spiritual discipline was over, that I was done fighting?

The next few months began a whirlwind. A complete roller coaster of emotion overtook me on a daily basis. I was hit harder and by more things than I ever thought possible. I began battling loneliness and worthlessness. My mind was constant battlefield of thoughts, such as "you are forgotten", "your presence doesn't matter to others", "you no longer impact people in your work or ministry", etc. I was legitimately convinced that if I never fulfilled my work responsibilities (which I love), or never sang another song again, it would not matter.

On the days these thoughts did not overtake, I battled a life of insignificance; feeling as if I was living a dead end life. Nothing I did had purpose. I tried to tell myself every morning that I was destined for bigger and better things, with no clue as to what that may be. I craved a place where I could feel worthwhile. I was 100% completely and totally lost.

I began praying harder than ever before for God to give me the strength to overcome; to help me find my worth in Him, and to be confident in my worth in Him. Then one afternoon, after a very long, emotionally taxing day, I began singing this song that I had known for a while, but had forgotten. I was reminded of my true purpose in worship. God created each and every one of us so intricately and so special, with an innate drive to live a purposeful life. We were created by Him to worship Him. When I have questions, He has the answers. He heals all wounds, supplies every need, and His strength is made completely perfect in our weakest moment. I began to tell myself that I am defined by HIS greatness; not in the accomplishments or accolades I may or may not receive on the job or at school. I am DESTINED to live each day to love Him, and to show others His love through me, no matter the circumstance. I designed to pursue Him with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength; to know Him as I never have before. This is the greatest accomplishment anyone can achieve. It is my destiny today, and forever more to worship Him in spirit AND in truth, with a humble and broken spirit, so that each encounter with my Lord is one in which is molding me into who He wants me to be.

Ephesians 1:4-6
According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: Having PREDESTINATED us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, To the praise and glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.

Feb 10
Hands forming a heart

He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. - 1 John 4:8

The Love favorite month of all! I get so excited every time February 1st hits. I become an annoying little Valentine's Cupid, spreading my joy for this holiday every where I go. I go so far as to decorate my workplace, go above and beyond to get family members and friends Valentine's goodies.

For the average individual, this holiday, and time of year in general is despised. People view it as a marketing scheme to monopolize cards and chocolate. It is viewed as a time of year to make those who have no special someone miserable, and those who do go into a panic spiral trying to go above and beyond to appease their significant other.

I have always viewed this time of year a little differently. I choose to spread love to all. As the body of Christ, that is what we are called to do. "He that loveth not knoweth no God; for God is love." To fall madly in love with God is to know God, and to know God is to love one another. Take this opportunity to wholeheartedly commit your life to God. Fall scandalously in love with Him, and let Him work through you to spread His love to those who are in need. The world is broken and lost, and they need an example of something to hope in. We are called to be just that. We are called to love.


Feb 14 absolute favorite month of all!  This month is so exciting to me because it gives us the opportunity to celebrate the greatest gift of all, love.  I know this holiday is looked at by many with much disdain, but this year, take the opportunity to take the romance out of it, and focus on the heart and soul of the holiday.  LOVE.  Love is a commandment that we, as Christians are supposed to fulfill.  We are called to simply, love.  There are so many hurting, discouraged and lonely people in this world.  Although we may not be able to fix every sad, heartbreaking situation people face, we can bring hope and encouragement through LOVE.  I strongly encourage you to study 1 Corinthians chapter 13, this month.  Verses, 4-7 describe love in the way God intended it to be.  Choose one verse a week to apply to your life, this month and watch as the lives of those around are uplifted.

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Simply, LOVE.